The Gnosis of Gulik the Stoned

By u/garveydhaines

In the Principia Discordia, Gulik is referred to as a modern incarnation of Hermes. The mysterious, liminal diety is also reminiscent of another diety from the constipated greeks that had his own fair share of complicated mythological parallels: Dionysus.

In the myth in which he is torn apart by titans, the greeks forgot the bit in which cockroaches came running out of his veins in the place of blood. Thats the thing about gods, they don’t bleed blood. They bleed cockroaches.

Anyways Dionysus’ “blood” infested the earth and the only parts of the poor god that were left were his Pineal gland, which tastes like gym socks, his left hand, and his wang.

Each piece of flesh that the titans didn’t gobble up respectively became adam, eve, and Steve.

The children of adam became the greyfaced, the priests and kings of old who hold the rest of humanity in mental prisons of dogma. The Jordan Peterson followers who believe life is lacking of the mystic.

The children of Eve became the salt of the earth goddess. The farmers and essential workers who tend to the everday needs most people in first world countries take advantage of.

The children of Steve became shamanic warriors who not only fight our physical wars in the name of destruction. They also fight the philosophic and spiritual battles in times of peace for creativities sake. The pen is mightier than the sword, so poets, magicians, scientists, artists and the like are just as brave as the herculean heroes of legend.

And then there’s Eris. She is the Isis to Gulik’s Osiris. She is the divine consort to the dying god whos flesh has been scattered amongst the Earth. For we are all of Gulik’s flesh who is cradled by the goddess who waits for our return.

She finds our modern divisions and borders to be abstract and thus wishes to unite us to once again resurrect her divine lover. That is until she loses interest in our pointless squabbles and goes to stay the night with her other hubby, the sky daddy. Who, unlike Gulik, is fully intact.