Does society seem boring, dull, unimaginative and perhaps even nightmarishly conformist?
Do you ever feel as though the universe is one big, sick joke?
Is everyone around you a Cabbage?
Can you see the Fnords?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
unless you are
Greetings fellow mutants, weirdos, rebels, vagabonds, quantum schizophrenics, activists, inactivists, slackers, ragamuffins, hyper-surrealists, zenarchists, pataphysicians, subgenii and neerdowells and welcome to your initiation into discordianism and Operation Mindfuck.
Soon you too will know the pleasures of raping your own mind and wallow in the knowledge that everything is true.
Even things which are false are true
What the hell are you talking about?
I’m talking about chaos, I’m talking about discord, I’m talking about the end of civilized monotony and the beginning of a glorious decent into madness. I’m talking about taking joy in the bewildered enlightenment of others, about manipulating the minds of others by changing their environment and about killing time in the most brutal way possible. Or maybe I’m just talking out of my ass, hard to tell.
What do you mean “Chaos”?
Chaos has many meanings but in this case it means the primal disordered nothing from which any and everything may spring; an existence which contains within itself all possibility. All original thought springs from this chaos and as such all the works of man are inherently spawned from this one source. Eris is the goddess of chaos and the goddess of all creation, her will be done. Unfortunately there are those who would seek to impede the works of holy chaos and bring about order; order, being the opposite of chaos, would bring the destruction of all original thought and the end of humanity as we know it. In order to preserve the universe from degeneration discordians seek to spread chaos and cultivate freedom of thought.
But who’s creating order?
You are, you bastard, along with everyone else around you still following your cultural norms. Normalcy is stagnation, safe but boring and eventually fatal to the unfortunate fish swimming in that stagnant sewer of thought. Right now there are robots and cabbages all around you but you can’t tell; you’ve adopted their mannerisms as your own and you can no longer tell the difference between what you feel and what they want you to feel.
But what can I do then?
RISE UP! or lie down, or hop around on one leg slapping your buttocks, just do something, anything, to break through the oppressive social norms which you erect around yourself. Lie on the ground in the middle of the subway, wear a chicken outfit to KFC, bring ham to a passover diner, and dance like no one’s watching when everyone is. Or you can just become a discordian.
How do I become a discordian?
If you want in on the Discordian Society
then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like
and tell us about it
if you prefer
There are no rules anywhere.
The Goddess Prevails.
Alright, does being a discordian have any perks?
You betcha, in fact, you, just like everyone else on earth, are the discordian pope!
The rights of a Pope include but are not necessarily limited to:
To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively.
To completely rework the Erisian church.
To baptise, bury, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two cases).
To excommunicate, de-ex-communicate, re-ex-communicate, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if any).
To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate for a Pope of Discordia.
Alright, I’m a discordian, now what?
Now the fun really begins. As a discordian you are part of operation mindfuck, a decentralized, individual driven movement of social change and mockery with the express purpose of shocking or confusing the masses out of the hold they have on themselves. There is no chosen method or doctrine when it comes to the operation, though causing physical injury to others is looked down on. A discordian has no laws and is unbound by what is considered socially exceptionable so do whatever you want.…
I can’t think of anything.
Not so clever eh? Well fear not help is here and waiting. If you wish to get a hand on your first acts of social irregularity then consider yourself part of my cabal, the “888 eyes of Eris“. You’re free to come and go as you please but the cabal means fellow discordians and fellow discordians means exponential chaos. Right now the 888 Eyes is participating in the POSTERGASM, the effort to plaster as many strange and thought provoking posters in public areas as possible. The link will have plenty of starter posters and you’re encouraged to create your own as well. Over all, do as you wish and enjoy kicking this dreary world right in the man marbles
Is there anywhere I can go to get a better understanding of the ideas you so clumsily discussed
Indeed there is, check out the discordia wiki here as well as my convenient hidden stash of related literature located here.
There is also the D.I.S.L.I.B. – Discordian Internet Society’s Library of Interesting Books.
Within are dozens of books, papers and magazines including the book of the subgenius, Principia Discordia and the online Discordian magazine “Intermittens”.
There is also these online gathering points:
THE GODDESS PREVAILS
Here Some Popes who see the fnords
by Aktion 23